Bull in a China Shop

SERVING UP HOT STEAMING PLATES OF CRAP ON THE GOOD DISHES

Thursday, February 10, 2005

It's 3:00 am

So why is it, that I can think of 100 witty things to say and blog about when I am lying in bed at 3:00 am staring at the ceiling? I get fabulous ideas that nearly write themselves while I am rinsing the soap from my eyes in the shower. I laugh at my own cleverness when I am a mile away from my home, walking my dog.

Yet, when I get here I can't recall one witty thought or clever comment! Perhaps it is the giant black hole that is this office/company that sucks the life right out of me. Not only is the building sick, the folks I work with are a sort I had not really encountered before I started here 11 months ago. I can walk down the hall and see a coworker approaching me. I can look that person in the eye and say "good morning" and get NO RESPONSE. They like to sit in the lunch room and gossip about whomever is not in the room at the time. They keep tabs on everyone else, like little policemen or spies, running to the boss if someone is 2 minutes late. We have FLEX time people! They love to talk about reality TV or porn or some other equally offensive thing at the lunch table. They have little to offer other than talk about the weather or who the Bachelor is going to pick, or if Nick and Jessica are actually getting divorced. I can't say whether any of them has actually read a book in the last 5 years. And sometimes, when my only confidant and I are chatting, other people ask us to explain the meaning of some of the words we use. Trust me, we aren't geniuses or anything. That just shows you the level of DUH in this place.

And the building itself: POISON! There is some foul black goo that drips from the ceiling of the bathroom, and just coming close enough to breathe its foul stench will cause your eyes to burn and make your throat hurt. When the boiling heat or the freezing A/C (both of which you can count on experiencing in one day) kicks on, you could experience a headache, sneezing, immediate sinus stuffiness and pain, and on some occasions, nausea. Also, the runs often make their way around the office. And OF COURSE everyone has to comment on it and discuss it and de-fricking-scribe it. Not that I can't appreciate a good conversation about poo, amongst good friends. But, these folks are just disgusting enough before the subject of poo comes up, that I am just freaked right the hell out.

So there. How's THAT for witty and clever. (sigh)

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